जानकी पुल – A Bridge of World's Literature. जानकी पुल पर प्रकाशित लेखों में प्रकट विचार लेखक के होते हैं. उनसे मॉडरेटर का सहमत होना जरूरी नहीं है. हाँ, अपने लेखों में प्रकट विचारों के लिए मॉडरेटर खुद जिम्मेदार है
‘उसने कहा था’ कहानी अगले साल सौ साल की हो जाएगी. इस सन्दर्भ को ध्यान में रखते हुए कल हमने युवा लेखक मनोज कुमार पाण्डे का लेख प्रस्तुत किया था. आज प्रसिद्ध लेखिका मैत्रेयी पुष्पा का यह लेख. जो यह सवाल उठाता है कि क्या यह कहानी महज लहना सिंह की है, सूबेदारनी का पक्ष भी तो आना चाहिए. पढ़िए एक दिलचस्प लेख- मॉडरेटर
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‘मुझे पहचाना?’
‘नहीं।‘
‘तेरी कुड़माई हो गई?’
‘धत्।‘
‘कल ही हो गई।‘
‘देखते नहीं यह रेशमी बूटों वाला शालू. अमृतसर में।‘
यह संवाद! लहनासिंह, तुमने जीवन साथ बिताने का खूबसूरत सपना देखा था न? और मेरे पिछले वाक्य पर कितना छोटा मुंह हो गया था तुम्हारा! क्यों न होता, उस छोटी सी उम्र में उस क्षण तुम्हें समझ नहीं आ रहा कि दिन की सुनहरी भोर में यकायक अंधेरा कैसे फट पड़ा। मेरी सहज मुद्रा हवा में भले ही लहरा रही थी, मगर दिल पर कुछ भारी-भारी सा लदा हुआ था। शायद इसलिए कि मैं हर रात तुम्हारे सुबह मिलने की आहट ओढ़-बिछाकर सोती थी। मेरा हर सपना लहनासिंह के आसपास होता था। अबोध आंखों के तितली जैसे रंगीन और कोमल सपनों को लेकर ही दुनिया को पहचान रही थी मैं। सारे मासूम विवरणों को अपनी झोली में समेटकर भरने के बाद समझ में यही आया था कि हम एक-दूसरे के इतने निकट आते जा रहे हैं कि इन नजदीकियों को अब तक पहचानते नहीं थे। इतना इल्म कहां था कि आपस के शरारत भरे संवाद और छेड़छाड़ की नन्ही-छोटी मुद्राएं आगे चलकर किस घाट लगेंगी।
मैं आठ साल की थी और तुम बारह साल के।
अब तो पूरे पच्चीस वर्ष का अंतराल है। इस अंतराल का एक-एक दिन, एक-एक महीना और एक-एक साल मैंने यही सोचकर बिताया कि मैं तुम्हें भूल रही हूं, भूलती जा रही हूं और जब जिंदगी का अंजुरी-अंजुरी पानी उलीच दिया, प्रेम से लबरेज रहने वाली लड़की निखालिस गृहस्थिन सूबेदारनी हो गई तो लगा कि मैं तुम्हें भूल चुकी हूं। अब मेरे घर में खालीपन भर गया है। वहां सूखा व्यापी है और वहां गृहस्थ प्रेम के सिवा किसी भी प्रेम के लिए बंजर है। यहां सेना के जवान और मेरे पति सूबेदार की दुनिया है। दुश्मन, जंग और हार-जीत की बातें हैं, इसलिए भी यहां मोहब्बत के लिए जगह कहां?
बंदूकें, रायफलें और तोपें!
परेड, अभ्यास और कैंप!!
सैनिकों के बूटों से धरती हिलती, कमांडर का हुक्म दिशाओं में गूंजता, सीमा पर लड़ने की शपथ कलेजा हिला देती और मैं अपने आसपास चलते-फिरते जवानों के चेहरों पर तुम्हारा चेहरा लगा-लगाकर देखती रहती, एकदम बेसुध, बेखबर। क्या मुझे मालूम था कि तुम सेना में भर्ती हुए होगे? नहीं, मैं तो कुछ भी नहीं जानती थी और कल्पना के सिवा तुम्हारे चेहरे का रूप-रंग भी मेरे पास नहीं था। अगर कुछ था तो वह शरारत भरा चेहरा जो बारह साल के लड़के के रूप में कहता थाµ ”तेरी कुड़माई हो गई?” बस यही स्वर, यही वाक्य अभ्यास के वास्ते परेड करते जवानों के साथ फौजी माहौल में मेरे सपनों के घुंघरू बांधकर नाचने लगता। जबकि मुझे मालूम था कि अब किसी दिन भी लहनासिंह से मेरी मुलाकात होने वाली नहीं। मगर मैं नहीं, मेरी आकांक्षाएं अपनी उम्मीद तोड़ नहीं पाती थीं।
मैं सुहागिन औरत, जिसकी जिंदगी का सर्वस्व सूबेदार, बार-बार उन कुंआरी यादों को अतीत में धकेलने की कोशिश करती रही। मगर मेरी कोशिशें नाकाम भी तो होती रहती थीं और लहनासिंह की याद मुझे अपने ही भीतर गुनहगार बना जाती। मेरे जमाने की औरतें कहा करती थीं- प्यार का बिरवा कभी मत लगाओ, लग भी जाए तो उसे सींचो नहीं क्योंकि वह हरा-भरा होकर जहरीली पत्तियां गिराने लगता है। मैं अपने दाम्पत्य की खैरियत मनाते हुए अपने दिल को रेगिस्तान की तरह वीरान करने में जुट गई। लहनासिंह के लिए सूबेदारनी की आंखें अब अंधी थीं। मगर वे दो आंखें किसकी थीं, जो अपने बाल मित्रा को अपलक देखती रहतीं और कोमल, मासूम और निश्छल अहसास से भर उठतीं। क्या वह उस भोली-सी छोटी लड़की का प्यार मैं अब तक अपने कलेजे से लगाए फिर रही थी? अपने ही प्यार में अभिभूत थी? मैंने मान लिया था कि तुम, तुम नहीं, मेरे अपने प्यार की भावना हो।
इसलिए ही!
जब तुम सामने पड़े तो मैं चौंकी नहीं, अपनी भावना से मिलान करने लगी और मेरी अंतरंग चेतना जो मोहब्बत से बनी थी, तुम्हें पहचानने लगी। मैंने कहा था न, मैंने तेरे को आते ही पहचान लिया।
लहनासिंह, तुम मुझे नहीं पहचाने, इस पर मैं विश्वास नहीं कर पा रही थी। तुम्हारी सूरत अब बालक की नहीं, एक जवान की थी, जैसी कि सिख जवान की होती है। मेरा चेहरा भी बदल गया है, आखिर पच्चीस साल का फासला एक लंबी अवधि है। मगर मेरा और तुम्हारा वही क्या था, जो अब तक नहीं बदला। एक-दूसरे से लगाव, जुड़ाव, जिसे मोहब्बत कहते हैं। शायद तुम्हारे पास भी वही रह गई और मैं भी अपने शालू के छोर में वही बांध लाई नहीं तो मैं यहां-वहां तुम्हें सब की निगाह बचाकर क्यों खोजती और तुम विदा होते समय मेरे साथ-साथ रोते क्यों?
लहनासिंह, तुम्हारे लिए मैं वही छोटी लड़की हूं न जो दूध-दही की दुकान से लेकर सब्जी मंडी तक राह चलते तुम्हें कहीं भी मिल जाती थी और उसे देखते ही तुम्हारी कोमल आंखें चमक उठती थीं। वह तुम्हारे दिल में आज भी रहती है?
‘देखते नहीं यह रेशमी बूटों वाला शालूµअमृतसर में।‘ यह एक वाक्य ऐसी कटार था, जिसने हमारे साथ चलने वाले रास्ते काट दिए। हमारा मिलन कट-फट गया। भोली शरारतें उदास हो गईं। तुम्हारे प्यार का हक उखड़ गया, मेरी चाहत का तो किला ही ढह गया। फिर भी खंडहर के रूप में मुझे कोई नहीं देख पाया। अमृतसर शहर में क्या है, क्या नहीं, मैंने नहीं देखा। हां, यहां एक पथरीला बंगला है, जिसकी दीवारों से टकरा-टकराकर मैंने अपनी भावनाओं को लहूलुहान करते हुए दांपत्य का संतोष हासिल किया है। कोई गजब तो नहीं हुआ, ऐसा तो होता ही रहता है। कोई औरत अपने प्यार की बरबादी पर रो ही कहां पाती है? वह तो उसे छिपाकर सुहाग भरी जिंदगी हासिल करते हुए अपनी जीत का परचम लहराती रहती है, भले उसके हाथ कांपते रहें और पांव थरथराएं।
‘बच्चों की दोस्ती, दो पल का खेल। खेल के बाद अपने-अपने रास्ते’ यह व्यावहारिक बात मैंने दिल में बसा ली थी, लेकिन जब-जब अमृतसर में सुबह होती, घर हिलता नजर आता। हवाएं नहीं, आंधियां महसूस होतीं। याद आता कि लहना घर की सीध में चला जा रहा था, रास्ते में एक लड़के को मोरी में धकेल दिया। एक छावड़ी वाले की दिन भर की कमाई खोई। एक कुत्ते को पत्थर मारा और एक गोभी वाले के ठेले में दूध उड़ेल दिया। सामने नहाकर आती वैष्णवी से टकरा गया, अंधे की उपाधि पाई। लहना के भीतर ऐसी टूटन-फूटन हुई जैसे हंसने वाले लड़के के दिमाग में बारूद भर गया हो।
समझने के लिए अब क्या रह गया था? अजब-सी, मोहब्बत से भरी आंखें और शरारत भरी भोली अदाएं जलजला क्यों बनने लगीं, अमृतसर ने ऐसा जहरीला डंक मारा कि तुम तुम न रहे।
लहना, मेरी कुड़माई नहीं होनी चाहिए थी क्या?
नहीं तो क्यों नहीं? इसलिए कि पिछले एक महीने से मैं तुमसे बराबर मिल रही थी और तुम मुझे लेकर अबूझ सपने पाल रहे थे। उन सपनों की मनमोहक छवियां एक लड़की की तरह तुम्हारी गली में आवाजाही कर रही थीं।
मगर मेरा क्या हाल था, तुम्हें शायद मालूम ही नहीं क्योंकि अमृतसर के शालू की बात सुनकर तुमने जो आक्रामकता दिखाई, उसी शालू को ओढ़कर मैं चुपचाप विदा हो गई। मेरी जैसी लड़कियों की जिंदगी, ऐसे ही शालुओं के हवाले हो जाती है, बेआवाज। मगर गौर से कोई देखे तो दिखाई देगा कि एक दर्दनाक तकलीफ चुपके-चुपके बढ़ती है और उमंग तथा उम्मीदों को उजाड़ती चली जाती है। आज तक यह अहसास जिंदा है कि कोई मेरी गर्दन में रेशमी शालू का फंदा कसकर अमृतसर की ओर खींच रहा है। उस समय तो मैं रोती रही थी, जैसे छोटी लड़की अपना खिलौना टूटने पर रोती है।
मगर लहना, न तुम खिलौना थे, न मैं खेलनहार।
मैं कहां गई, तुम कहां रहे, यह भी कोई पहेली नहीं, रिवाज का एक हिस्सा है। पति की घर-गृहस्थी संभालना हर लड़की का धर्म माना गया। लड़के संभालते हैं बाहर का मैदान, जहां तुम पहुंचे। खोज-खबर लेना भी गुनाह फिर सुबह-दोपहर-शाम और रात का हिसाब कौन करे? हां, याद करते हुए लगा कि मेरे चेहरे पर उजली-सी मुस्कान खेल गई है, जिसमें सुबह और दही की रंगत मिली हुई है। और जब कभी तुमको याद करते हुए आंखें भीग उठी हैं, मैंने किसी को खबर नहीं होने दी जैसे रात छिटके हुए तारों की रोशनी को उजागर नहीं होने देती।
इस लुका-छिपी का हासिल क्या रहा, पता है? एक डर, एक भय, एक आशंका और अपराध-बोध। पच्चीस साल बाद वह बारह वर्ष का लड़का आज दाढ़ी-मूँछों वाले सरदार के रूप में पगड़ी बांधे खड़ा था।
लहना? लहना! यह लहनासिंह है!!
मैंने तुम्हें पहचान लिया। यकायक मैं उसी लगाव भरी दुनिया में लौट आई, जिसे छोड़ने-त्यागने की कवायद करते हुए मैंने अपने प्राणों को क्रूर तकलीफ में डालने का अभ्यास साध लिया था। मेरी अब तक की तपस्या भंग होने लगी। मेरे पतिव्रत धर्म का तम्बू बिखरने को हो आया। ‘तेरी कुड़माई हो गई?’ का मीठा सवाल दाम्पत्य में जहर बोने वाला था। भरी दोपहरी में भोर की रेशमी कोमल हवा कहां से आई? सूनी राह पर चलते हुए छूटा-बिछुड़ा पुराना राहगीर। मैं किस ओर दौड़ने लगी? कि दिल बेपनाह धड़क रहा है और कोई भूला हुआ विश्वास धीरज देने लगा है कि तेरी अब तक की तलाश पूरी हुई। यह भ्रम है, जानबूझकर सोचा, मगर नहीं, कोई कहीं छुट जाता है तो भी क्या संबंध टूट जाता है?
मगर यह तो अजनबी की तरह खड़ा है, मेरी पहचान को चुनौती देता हुआ। और यादें हैं कि दौड़ती हुई चली आ रही हैं। बचपन के दिन साथ-साथ भाग रहे हैं। प्यार के धागे में पिरोए नन्हे-मुन्ने सपने। सपनों ने मुझे हर हालत में अपने नजदीक अपने आगोश में समेटकर रखा।
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तन्हाई का अंधा शिगाफ़ : भाग-10 अंतिम
आप पढ़ रहे हैं तन्हाई का अंधा शिगाफ़। मीना कुमारी की ज़िंदगी, काम और हादसात …
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सूबेदारनी के भावों में कहानी पढ़ना अद्भुत है — दी आप जब लिखेंगी वह कुछ अनोखा ही होगा
ओह… किसी संवेदनशील के लिए इसे पढ़ना आंसुओं से भीगना है। अंतिम पैरा पर कभी फिर बात करूंगा लेकिन उससे पहले जो भी बना है वो क़यामत है दोस्तो। लेखिका को बधाई, मॉडरेटर साहब को आभार।
सूबेदारनी के पक्ष का सार्थक प्रस्तुतीकरण …..
सहमत हूँ …..
''मुझे कहानी की नायिका बनाते हुए समय का दबाव मेरा लेखक भी झेल रहा होगा कि सामाजिक व्यवहार में प्रेम के मूल स्रोतों से उपजे किसी स्वतंत्रा संबंध की स्वीकृति नहीं हुआ करती।"
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