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चतुर मूर्ख और बेवकूफ राजा की कथा: मृणाल पाण्डे

बच्चों को न सुनाने लायक बालकथा-10 में इस बार पढ़िए प्रसिद्ध लेखिका मृणाल पाण्डे की लेखनी से निकला एक नई कथा। यह कथा गढ़वाली लोककथा पर आधारित है। लेकिन आज भी समकालीन लगने वाला रोचक और प्रासंगिक-

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हे गोल्ल देवता पहले तेरा सिमरन। दरिद्रता हर, दु:खों का अंत कर, ताकतवर को सुबुद्धि दे, निर्बल को चतुराई। चार दिशा में चतुराई से जान बचा, और निस दिन तेरा थान, परजा का ज्ञान जागृत रहे।

तो एक था राजा। अपने को बहुत बुद्धिमान और सर्वज्ञ समझने वाला। बाल पक कर फूल गये, गाल पिचक कर झूल गये, पर अपने किसी भी हुकुम पर ना सुनने की तो उसे आदत नहीं। तनिक भी असहमति की बात होने पर उसकी आंखें अभी भी लाल हो जातीं, लटकी खालवाली भुजायें फड़कने लगतीं और बिना आगे की जिरह सुने बड़े से बड़े विद्वान् को भी वह तुरंत देशद्रोही-राजद्रोही कह कर उसे कालकोठरी में डलवा देता।

अब ऐसे राजा की हाँ में हाँ कौन नहीं मिलाता?

किसी रात राजा कहता, ‘दिन है,’ तो परजा और सभासद सब कहते, ‘जी हुज़ूर दिन है।’ अगले दिन सुबह सुबह राजा कह देता, ‘रात है,’ तो परजा और सभासद् भी एक साथ कह उठते, ‘जी हुज़ूर रात है।’

ऐसे ही चल रहा था।

पर सब दिन होत न एक समाना। सब फूल हर दिन सुगंध नहीं देते। सब सियारों के सींग नहीं होते। सब मेंढकों पर चंदन नहीं लगता।

राजा के राज में, उसकी धरती पर परजा के बीच तरह तरह की तकलीफ के दिन बढने लगे। कहीं बाढ कहीं सुखाड़, कहीं टिड्डी दल! फिर न जाने कहां से उमड़ कर भारी महामारी भी फैल गई। दिन-रात तिलचट्टों की तरह लोग मरने लगे।

पर राजा को बुरी खबर कौन दे कर अपना सर कटवाता?

जब तब महल से एक ऐलानिया शहर में आता। वह चौक पर खड़ा होके ढोल बजा कर कहता कि, ‘आज शाम दोपहर ढले श्री श्री 1001 महाराज जी अपनी जनता को झरोखे से दर्शन देंगे ऽऽ।

जनता जुट जाती तब महल के झरोखे पर से राजा कहते, ‘अच्छे दिन आनेवाले हैं’, फिर पूछते ‘क्या आने वाले हैं? तो सब कहते, ‘जी हुज़ूर, अच्छे दिन! अच्छे दिन। बिलकुल आनेवाले हैं।’

राजा मुस्कुरा कर कहता, ‘इसी बात पर ताली बजाओ, सब हारी बीमारी चार दिन में भाग जायेगी।’

ताली पीटते लोग कहते: ‘हंजी, हंजी, हंजी ! भाग बीमारी भाग!’

पर मनुख जात की फितरत ऐसी, कि बहुत दिन तक तारीफ सुन सुन कर भी वह बोर हो जाता है। फिर महाबली राजा तो राजा। झरोखे से दर्शन देता ताली सुनता वह अब महाबोर महसूस करने लगा।

एक दिन उसने सुबह सुबह अपने महामंत्री मुद्राराक्षस को बुलाया और कहा, ‘हर बखत हंजी, या जै जैकार सुन कर माबदौलत का मन उचाट हो गया है। आज हमारा मन खूब हंसने को करता है। तुम यूं करो कि दो घंटों के भीतर कहीं से चार मूर्ख पकड़ लाओ और उनको हमारे सामने खड़ा करो । वे दिन रात अपनी मूर्खता से हमारा मनोरंजन करेंगे।’

महामंत्री को जान प्यारी थी। उसने हंडे सरीखा सर झुका कर कहा, ‘जो हुकुम महाराज,’ और तुरत मूर्खों को खोजने चल दिया।

राजभवन से बाहर आते हुए महामंत्री के मन में भारी उलझन ने सर उठाया। यह दुनिया यूं तो मूर्खों से भरी पड़ी है, लेकिन वे ऐसे ही तो नहीं दिखाई देंगे। दरबार के सम्मेलन कक्ष में जा कर उसने अपने भरोसेमंद मुख्य जासूस दयाशंकर को बुलवाया, और राजा का ताज़ा हुकुम सुना कर उससे कहा, ‘दया, राजा जी बोर महसूस कर रहे हैं। उनके हुकुम के अनुसार चार अच्छे मूर्खों को दो घंटे के भीतर महल में लाना होगा जो उनका मन बहलायें। इस काम के लिये कुछ तुमको अभी के अभी बाहर जा कर गली गली जासूसी और चार चोटी के मूर्खों की पकड़-धकड़ करनी होगी।’

जब काला चश्मा लगाये जासूस दया चार मूर्ख खोजने चला, तो वह भी भारी उलझन में पड़ गया।

मूर्खों की पड़ताल तुरत फुरत करे तो कैसे? न करे, तो जान जाये!

जासूस जीवन हाय तुम्हारी यही कहानी सोच सोच कर वह झुंझलाने लगा।

तभी उसने देखा सामने से एक आदमी टट्टू पर बैठा चला आता था। पर अपनी गठरी की लदान उसने खुद अपने सर पर धरी हुई थी।

‘अरे अक्कल के टापू, सर पर गठरी टट्टू पर आपू?’ मूर्ख को रोक कर दया जासूस ने पूछा।

‘सलाम जासूस साहेब,’ मूर्ख खुश खुश बोला, ‘टट्टू बेचारा कितना बोझ उठायेगा? यही सोच कर गठरी मैंने अपने माथे पर रख ली साहेब!’’

‘चल मेरे संग’, दया जासूस बोला, ‘राजाजी को तेरे सरीखे दयालु लोगों की ज़रूरत है । महल चल, इनाम मिलेगा।’ मूर्ख खुशी से तुरत मान गया और दोनो साथ साथ कुछ दूर चले। अब उनको एक आदमी दिखाई दिया। भगवा धोती, सफेद कुरता, माथे पर तिलक लगाये हुए वह हाथ में पकड़े बड़े से दोने से निकाल निकाल कर वह सब आते जातों को खुशी खुशी बूंदी के लड्डू पकड़ा रहा था।

‘भाई इतनी तादाद में लड्डू किस खुशी में बाँट रहे हो?’ दया जासूस ने पूछा। आदमी हंस कर बोला, ‘मेरी बीबी दस महीने पहले मेरे पड़ोसी के साथ भाग गई थी, और अब खबर आई है कि कल उसके बेटा हुआ है। लीजिये आप भी लड्डू खाइये न।’

दया जासूस ने उसकी पीठ थपथपाई और बोला, ‘हमारे राजाजी को भी इसकी खुशी है। चलो मेरे साथ महल चलो। तुमको भी कुछ इनाम बख्शीश मिलेगी।’ अब दूसरा मूर्ख भी साथ हो लिया।

इसके बाद कोई घंटे भर तक दया जासूस शहर की अली गली छानता फिरा, पर तकलीफ सह सह कर और गली के नुक्कड़ या मेले ठेले में हंसी मज़ाक या राजमहल की बाबत बातचीत करने पर सज़ा दिये जाने के डर से परजा सयानी और घरघुसरू बन गई थी। लोग बोलने से तो बचते ही, सड़क पर भी चलते तो एक दूसरे से सामाजिक दूरी बना कर। लिहाज़ा इन दोनो मूर्खों की टक्कर के अन्य दो मूर्ख दया जासूस को कहीं नहीं मिले। अब वह वापिस महामंत्री के घर गया और सब कुछ बता कर कहा, ‘सर, दो घंटे होने ही वाले हैं, और राजाजी वक्त के बडे पाबंद हैं। उनके मनोरंजन के लिये अभी इन दो को ही उनके सामने ले जायें वरना उनका गुस्सा तो आप जानते ही हैं।’

महामंत्री और जासूस दया, उन दोनो मूर्खों को लेकर महल गये जहां राजाजी इंतज़ार में थे। उन्होने महामंत्री मुद्राराक्षस से पूछा, ‘ये दोनो तुमको कहाँ से मिले? और इस बात का सबूत क्या है कि यह दोनो मूर्ख ही हैं?

महामंत्री ने उनके कार्यकलापों की कथा विस्तार से उनको सुनाई तो महाराज को संतोष हुआ, कि ये दोनो जो हैं सो सौ टक्का असली मूर्ख हैं।

‘ठीक पकड़ा। ये दोनो पक्के मूर्ख हैं।’ वे बोले और ज़ोर से हंसे।

मूर्खों को यह बात चुभ गई। इनाम अकराम तो मिला नहीं उल्टे हंसी हंसी में उनको पक्का मूर्ख बताया गया? वे मुंह फुलाये उल्टे पैर लौटने को हुए ही थे कि तभी महाराजा गरज कर मुद्राराक्षस से बोले, ‘मैंने तुमसे चार मूर्खों को लाने के लिये बोला था। यह तो दो ही हैं। बाकी के दो कहाँ हैं?’

डर से कांपता महामंत्री हाथ जोड कर बोला, ‘हुज़ूर, एक तो महामारी की वजह से कई लोग शहर छोड गये। बाकी शाम से ही घरों में घुस कर दरवाज़े भेड़ लेते हैं। कहीं से हंसी ठठ्ठे की आवाज़ तक नहीं आती। आपका हुकुम था कि दो घंटे के भीतर मूर्ख पेश किये जायें। अब सर, जल्दी में बस यही दो पकड़ पाया।’

राजा का पारा चढने लगा, ‘इतना बडा मेरा राज्य, और तुम लोगों को दो घंटे में चार मूर्ख नहीं मिल पाये? किस बात की तनख्वाह खाते हो?’

तभी एक मूर्ख को जाने क्या सूझा। वह तपाक से बोल पड़ा, ‘गुस्सा काहे करते हैं राजाजी? अगर आप इनकी बजाय हमसे कहते, तो हम तुरत दो और मूर्ख आपको यहीं दिखा देते।’

राजाजी बोले, ‘तो चलो बताओ तीसरा मूर्ख कौन है?’

दूसरा मूर्ख बोला, ‘तीसरा तो आपका महामंत्री है।’

महामंत्री गरम हुआ, ‘’क्या कहता है बे?’

मूर्ख मुस्कुरा कर बोला, ‘ हुज़ूर भारी संक्रामक महामारी, अकाल, बाढ-सुखाड के बीच अपनी जान की चिंता और जरूरी राजकाज छोड कर जो महामंत्री सारी दुपहर में मूर्खों की खोज करता फिरे, वह मूर्ख नहीं तो और क्या है?’

मंत्री का हंडे जैसा सर शरम से झुक गया। राजाजी बोले, ‘चल माना। और चौथा मूर्ख? वह कौन है?’

मूर्ख थोडा सकुचाये। आख़िर एक बोला, ‘आप अभयदान दें तो हम बतायें।‘

‘डरो नहीं, साफ बोलो कि चौथा मूर्ख कौन है?’ महाराजा बोले।

अब मूर्खों ने एक दूसरे की तरफ देखा और बोले, ‘हे पृथ्वीबल्लभ, चौथे मूर्ख तो आप स्वयं हैं।’

राजा का सारा खून चेहरे पर उतर आया। महामंत्री का मुंह भी खुले का खुला रह गया। ‘क्या बकते हो? तुमको मालूम है कि किससे  क्या कह रहे हो मूर्खो?’ वह बोले।

मूर्ख बोले, ‘महाराज नाराज़ मत होइये। जो राजा पृथ्वीबल्लभ कहलाता है, वह विद्वानों की बजाय निपट मूर्खों को खोजे, तो बाहरखाने वह खुद परम मूर्ख नहीं तो और क्या कहलायेगा?

‘अब लाइये हमारा इनाम।’

राजा ने इधर उधर देखा। कमरे में उन चारों के अलावा कोई और न था। उसने दोनो को सौ सौ मुहरें दे कर कहा, ‘यह बात इस कमरे से कतई बाहर नहीं जानी चाहिये।’

‘सवाल ही नहीं उठता राजन।’ कह कर मूर्ख खुश खुश अपनी थैलियाँ ले कर घर चले गये। राजाजी सोने चले गये। महामंत्री और दया ने राहत की साँस ली।

अपने को बहुत अक्लमंद समझनेवाले राजाओं को सदा याद रखना चाहिये कि मूर्ख भी कई बार उनसे बहुत चतुर निकलते हैं।

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