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सुषमा गुप्ता की कहानी ‘मेरी पीठ पर लिखा तुम्हारा नाम’ 

सुषमा गुप्ता एक बहुराष्ट्रीय कम्पनी में प्रबंध निदेशिका हैं। इनकी कहानियाँ, कविताएँ प्रमुख पत्र पत्रिकाओं में प्रकाशित होती रही हैं। अभी हाल में इनकी एक कहानी ‘नया ज्ञानोदय’ में भी आई है। जानकी पुल पर यह लेखिका की पहली कहानी है- मॉडरेटर
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मेरी पीठ पर लिखा तुम्हारा नाम 
वहाँ कुछ अजीब था । बेहद अजीब सा ।
कोई रोशनी फूट रही थी ।
क्या समय हुआ होगा ?
ये काल कौन सा है ? भूत, भविष्य या वर्तमान।
मेरे पास कोई मानक न था जो नाप सके समय की गति को । जैसे मेरी आँखें उस लम्हा ये तक समझने में असमर्थ थी कि वह रोशनी सुबह के उगते सूरज की है या पूर्णमासी के डूबते चाँद की।
मेरे कदम खींचें चले गए ।
वो रोशनी यकीनन चुंबकीय थी क्योंकि वह स्थान ,वह रोशनी मेरी लिए सब अजनबी था । मुझे याद न रहा मानव मन का छोटा सा गणित , जो अजनबी है ज़हन की दुनिया में, वही आकर्षण का बिंदु है मन के लिए ।
और ऐसा लगभग हमेशा होता ही है ।
रोशनी ने अपनी और खींच लिया मुझे । उस उजली रोशनी के भीतर रखा था दुनिया का सबसे स्याह सत्य ।
रोशनी का सोत्र था एक गहरा गड्ढा ।
उस गहरे गड्ढे में था एक चौड़ा खुला ताबूत ।उस खुले ताबूत में थी दो देह ।
मृत देह ।
निवस्त्र देह ।
आदमी और औरत की देह ।
दूधिया रोशनी उन्हीं में से फूट रही थी ।
मेरी आँखें चौंधिया गई ।
मैंने घबरा कर आँखों पर हथेली रख ली ।
 उन शरीरों से निकलने वाली रोशनी हथेली फाड़ कर मुझे अंधा करने लगी ।
मैंने चाहा मैं मुड़ कर सरपट भाग जाऊँ। लेकिन मेरे पैर धरती से चिपक गए ।
मृत देह के पास अदृश्य मोहपाश‌ होते हैं । यह बात भी ठीक उसी समय मुझे भूल गई जिस समय याद होनी चाहिए थी ।मृत देह के मोहपाश हृदय, मस्तिष्क के साथ टाँगों पर भी डाल देते हैं मजबूत जंज़ीर । आप नहीं भाग सकते कहीं दूर ।
उस जड़ अवस्था में भी मैंने कुछ देखा ।
अलग सा , अद्भुत सा ।
अद्भुत वितृष्णा का स्वाद भी मेरे मन ने उसी लम्हें में पहली बार चखा ।
क्या ऐसा देखना कोई पाप था ?
मैंने पल के भी सौंवें हिस्से में देखा लिया था।
आदमी के उल्टे हाथ में औरत का सीधा हाथ । उनकी अँगुलियों ने एक दुसरे के हाथ को कस कर थाम रखा था ।
मेरी बंद पलकों में गरम सलाखों सी घुपने लगी उनके मरने से पहले के अतरंग आलिंगन के दृश्य । औरत के माथे पर अंकित थे आदमी के नीले बोसे । औरत की गरदन की तितली रखी थी आदमी के निचले होंठ के  ठीक नीचे  ।
औरत की नाभि पर चमक रहा था एक नन्हा चाँद जो शायद उस आदमी ने अपनी देह से बनाया होगा।
मैंने उस दृश्य की भव्यता से या जाने भयावहता से घबरा कर आँखें खोल लेनी चाही , पर लगा ,आँखों के खुल जाने का मतलब होगा उनका जल ही जाना ।
मुझे ठीक उसी वक्त याद आया बिनाई का ये छोटा सा रहस्य कि बंद आँखों से हमेशा ज़्यादा ही दिखता है ।
मैंने आँखें खोल ली। अब मुझे दिखाई दे रहे थे बस वो हाथ जो मजबूती से एक दूसरे को थामे थे । रोशनी का केंद्र बिंदु थे,वह जुड़े हुए हाथ ।
 मुझे लगा हाथ अलग कर देने से ये आँख फोड़ देने वाली रोशनी आनी बंद हो जाएगी । मैंने उस गहरे गड्ढे में उतरना तक गवारा कर लिया कि अजीब जुनून सवार हो उठा, ये हाथ अलग करने ही हैं ।
पर ऐसा हो नहीं पाया या मैं कर न सकी , ये मुझे तक समझ न आया । मुझे समझ आया तो बस इतना कि आदमी लैफ्टी था । उसकी पकड़ बेहद मज़बूत थी और औरत की अँगुलियाँ बेहद नाज़ुक । बावजूद इसके उस औरत की अँगुलियाँ बेहद सुकून से थी उस पकड़ में।
मेरी बदहवासी बढ़ रह थी । बिनाई जा रही थी और पूरी तरह चली जाए इस से पहले ही मुझे इस रोशनी को रोकना ही था ।
मैंने गड्ढे से बाहर आ नज़र दौड़ाई ।
चारों तरफ़ बहुत सारे ताबूत थे । कुछ सुंदर, कुछ बदबू मारते और कुछ कैसे भी नहीं । बस वो वहाँ थे । किन की लाशें हैं ये !
मैंने हर ताबूत के ढक्कन उठाने शुरू किए और शुरू किया इकठ्ठा करना पैबंदों को । मैंने फाड़े थोडे़-थोडे़ चौकोर कपडे़ उन सब मृत शरीरों से । आदमियों की देह से थोड़े बड़े और औरतों की देह से बहुत छोटे ।
सफेद दूधिया कफन के टुकड़ों से बनाई मैंने एक चौकौर चादर । पैबंदों को सील कर एक बेहद सुंदर चादर ।
ये दूधिया रोशनी इस दूधिया चादर से यकीनन मात खा जाएगी।
अब की दफा मैंने उस दो नग्न देह वाले गड्ढे में पैर न रखा । ऊपर से ही उढ़ा दी उनको वह चादर ।
रोशनी फूटनी कुछ कम हो गई या मेरी आँखें अब फूट चुकने के बाद अँधेरा बीन रही हैं उस पल मेरे लिए ये समझ पाना भी नामुमकिन हो रहा था ।
मैंने उनके उस चौड़े ताबूत का ढक्कन बंद करने के लिए शरीर और ज़हन की पूरी ताकत झोंक दी । वह वाकई बेहद भारी था । रोशनी के दहाने बंद करने के लिए कलेजा शैतान का चाहिए और शरीर दानव का । मेरे पास दोनों ही न थे । इसलिए भी छिल गए मेरे हाथ, पैर ,घुटने, सीना ,नाभि, गरदन, होंठ और आँखें भी ।
उस कब्र को ढकने के लिए कम पड़ गई पूरे कब्रिस्तान की मिट्टी कि बाकी कब्रों ने हिकारत फैंकी मुझ पर कि तूने एक में दो दफना दिए
ये कुफ्र है ।
जा तेरा सर्वनाश हो ।
मैंने अपने बालों में मिट्टी भर ली और उन आवाजों से सुर मिलाया।
“हाँ ज़रूर हो ।”
 रोशनी अब भी पलकें चीर कर आँखें कुंद रही थी । मैंने चुनी बीते दिनों की एक-एक ईंट कि मोटा चबूतरा बन सके जिसके आर-पार कुछ न जा सके। रोशनी भी नहीं।
चैन क्यों नहीं आ रहा कमबख़्त ।
ये आँख के साथ-साथ सीने में क्या दुख रहा है ।
एक बेहद गहरी टीस के साथ एक चुप वाली सिसकी होंठों पर ठहर गई
मैंने इस बार चूक नहीं की ।
उखाड़ कर सीने से गाड़ दिया कलेजा, स्लेट  सा उस दोहरी कब्र पर।
मैंने चारों तरफ़ नज़र घुमाई ।
हर कब्र की स्लेट पर उर्दू में कुछ लिखा था ।
उर्दू मुझे बिल्कुल नहीं आती पर उसके बावजूद मुझे हमेशा लगा ,वह दुनिया की सबसे खूबसूरत इबारत है ।
मेरी आँखें उन ईंट्टो, मिट्टी, ताबूत , पैबंद सबको फाँद कर फिर उन कोरी देहों  पर जाकर ठहर गई ।
औरत और आदमी दोनों के जिस्म अब पलट चुके थे । उनकी पीठ पर कुछ लिखा था  ।
शायद एक दुसरे के नाम …शायद अपने नाम..
नहीं-नहीं !
अपने नाम भला क्यों और कैसे लिखें होंगे ?!
यकीनन उन्होंने लिखे होंगे ,एक दूसरे की पीठ पर, एक दूसरे के नाम, वो भी अँगुली से कि एक वही अमिट कलम होती है।
मैंने दोबारा ध्यान से देखना चाहा कि पीठ से देख नाम स्लेट पर उतार लूँ।
पर वो दो जिस्म अब सीधे थे , पीठ के बल ।
पर ये अचानक कैसे हुआ !
क्या मेरा भ्रम था ?
क्या वो दो जिस्म कभी पलटे ही नहीं थे!
मैंने फिर वो पीठ पर लिखे नाम कैसे पढ़े!?
उफ्फफफ!
क्या हो रहा है यह सब ।
मैं घुटनों के बल हूं । हाथों से अपने बाल नोंचतें हुए ।
मुझे उर्दू क्यों नहीं आती !
मुझे कलेजे की उस स्लेट पर उर्दू में उनके नाम लिखने थे ।
मैंने यह पीठ पर लिखे नाम कहीं देखें हैं ।
हू ब हू यही नाम ।
पर कहाँ, दिमाग के परखच्चे उड़ रहे थे । परत दर परत जैसे कुछ उधेड़ा जा रहा हो।
मैंने‌ एक बार फिर कस कर आँखें बंद‌ कर लीं‌ कि रोशनी के पार‌ देखने‌ को आँखों का बुझना बेहद ज़रूरी था ।
कभी यूँ भी होता है हम कोई बात याद  करना चाहते हैं और हमें नहीं याद आती वह बेहद ज़रूरी बात , ठीक उसी समय , जिस समय उसका याद आना बेहद ज़रूरी हो  ।
होता तो यूँ भी है कि जब बेहद ज़रूरी हो‌ किसी को भूलना ज़िंदगी में बने रहने के लिए उस समय पूरी कायनात ही आपको अपनी हर एक शय से उसी की याद दिला रही होती है ।
भूल जाना और याद रह जाना , दोनों ही बातों का रैगुलेटर इंसान के मैनिफैक्चरिंग सिस्टम में डाला नहीं गया ।
उसके ब्रेन का मैमरी मैक्निज़म सैट रूल्स पर काम नहीं करता ।
मुझे अचानक याद आया । अतीत में किसी ने एक इबारत दी थी । दो नाम लिखे थे कोई । साथ में और भी  सुंदर लगते हुए । मैंने देने वाले से पूछा था
“ये क्या है ?”
 उसने कहा था ,
“एक उम्मीद भरा सपना शायद अगले या पिछले जन्म का ।”
वह मेरा नाम नहीं था न ही देने वाले का । ये भी उस देने वाले ने ही कहा था । मैंने वह भी मान लिया कि सच कहा होगा ,जैसे मैंने इबारत लेते हुए उसकी बोलती आँखों का कहा मान लिया था कि वह दो नाम दरअसल उसके और मेरे ही थे ।
मेरी बंद आँखें आहिस्ता से एक खाका खींच रही थी ।
——-
वह माँ का घर था ।
उस रोज़ उस घर में हम साथ थे । वह पीछे अपने कपड़े धो रहा था । मन ने कहा कि जाकर कहूँ, आप रहने दीजिए मैं कर देती हूँ। पर मुझे पता था , ये कहना ऐसा ही बेमानी होगा जैसे दीवार से कुछ बात करना । ‘हाँ’ या ‘न’ कुछ भी नहीं कहा जाएगा ।
वह ऐसा ही था, रूखा भी , शांत भी  और किसी बहते लावे सा खौलता हुआ भी । उस में कुछ बेहद अलग था । एक साथ कितनी विपरीत बातें उसके व्यक्तित्व में थी । मैं अक्सर सोच में पड़ जाती । मैं इस आदमी से इतनी आकर्षित क्यों हूँ , जबकि इसकी कोई आदत मुझे पसंद नहीं और इतना रूखा व्यवहार तो कतई ही नहीं । पर जिस प्रेम की कोई वजह ढूंढी जा सके तो वह फिर प्रेम ही कहाँ हुआ ।
 वह सिर झुकाए अपने कपड़ो पर ब्रश लगा रहा था ।
 मैंने खिड़की थोड़ी सी खोल ली कि बाहर की आहटें साफ़ सुनाई देती रहें।
थोड़ी देर में वाशिंग मशीन के  ड्रायर की आवाज़ सुनाई दी । अब सब्र हद के बाहर था । मुझे बहुत बेचैनी थी कि मैं हूँ फिर भी वह यह काम क्यों कर रहा है । वह कुछ दिन के लिए दिल्ली किसी ज़रूरी काम से आया था। पापा के बहुत कहने पर इस दफ़ा हमारे यहाँ रूकने को मान गया।
हालाँकि वह जानता था,या समझता था ,या उसे अंदेशा था उसके लिए मेरी मोहब्बत का या दिवानगी का या जूनून का , क्योंकि उसने मुझसे पहली बार के अपवाद को छोड़ दे ,तो कभी ठीक से बात नहीं की थी । मैं जब भी उस से बात की कोशिश करती उसके चेहरे पर अजीब से तनाव की लकीरें खींचने लगती । वह बात करते-करते हर छोटी बात पर झल्लाने लगता,कड़वे कटाक्ष करता और अक्सर बात को अधूरा ही छोड़ कर उठ जाता ।
मैं तब,हर बार कहना चाहती कि इतने तंज़ कसने बंद कर दो मुझ पर , मेरी तरह सब समझ जाएंगे कि तुमको भी मोहब्बत है मुझसे और यकीनन है।
बावजूद इस असहजता के , वह इस दफा हमारे यहाँ रूकने को  मान गया था।
ड्रायर की आवाज़ अब मध्यम होने लगी । मैं पीछे बरामदे में जाकर मशीन के पास खड़ी हो गई । वह बाल्टियों का पानी खाली कर उन्हें तरतीब से लगा रहा था। उसने मेरी तरफ प्रश्न भरी दृष्टि से देखा ।मैंने ऐसा दिखावा किया , जैसे उसे देखा ही नहीं ।
मैं ड्रायर से कपड़े निकाल तार पर फैलाने लगी । वह कुछ नहीं बोला । उसके चेहरे पर न कोई मुस्कान थी न कोई गुस्सा । उसने दीवार से टेक लगाकर सिगरेट सुलगा ली और मुंडेर पर बैठी चिड़िया की तरफ़ देखने लगा ।
मुझे जैसे बात शुरू करने की वजह मिल गई हो।
“तुम ये राइटर लोग शराब-सिगरेट पीना अपनी शान समझते हो न ?”
उसने कोई जवाब न दिया ।
मैंने अपनी बात जारी रखी ।
“पापा कहते हैं तुम कमाल का लिखते हो । तुम्हारे उपन्यासों में भाषा बहुत सुंदर होती है  । वैसे मैंने भी पढ़ी हैं तुम्हारी कुछ किताबें पर मेरे तो सब सिर पर से जाता है । जाने क्या इतना गूढ़ सा लिखते हो तुम सीधी सरल बात को । खासकर प्रेम की तो तुमने अपनी किताबों में जान ही ले डाली है ।इतना पेचिदा बना दिया है उसे जैसे कोई रॉकेट साइंस हो ।”
मैंने हँसते हुए उसकी तरफ़ बड़ी उम्मीद से देखा कि उसकी वही हँसी शायद देख पाऊँ जो पहली मुलाकात पर हीरे से लिशलिश‌ चमक रही थी उसके खूबसूरत होंठों पर ।
पर उसके होंठ एक करीने की लकीर‌ तक में तब्दील न हुए ।
मैं मायूस हो फिर तार पर कपड़े फैलाने‌‌ लगी । अनायास याद आई मुझे कल रात बैठक में हुई छोटे चाचा, भाई और पापा के बीच की बातचीत ।
चाचा और भाई ,पापा से बेहद खफ़ा थे कि धर्म के भक्षक इस लड़के को उन्होंने क्यों अपने घर ठहरा रखा है । रात दिन ये मुसलमानों के साथ उठता-बैठता है, उर्दू लिखता-पढ़ता है ।
पापा भी बेहद भड़क उठे थे कि कलम का कोई मज़हब नहीं होता ।
यह बात याद आई तो
मैं कपड़े सुखाते कुछ ठिठक गई ।
“एक बात पूछूं ? जवाब दोगे?”
“कोई ऊटपटांग सवाल मत करना?” उसने सपाट लहज़े में कहा।
पूछने से पहले ही मेरा मन बुझ गया फिर भी बुरा सा मुँह बना कर  मैंने पूछ ही लिया
“तुम तो हिंदू हो । पैदाइश-परवरिश सब हिंदुओं के बीच ही हुई है । फिर तुमने इतने कमाल की उर्दू कहाँ सीखी ?
पापा कहते है उर्दू ,फारसी, अरबी तीनों जुबान पर तुम्हारी पकड़ कमाल की है और तुम तो लिख भी लेते हो ।
कोई बोले तो मैं थोड़ी-थोड़ी समझ तो लेती हूँ पर लिखे हुए को पढ़ना …
तौबा…मेरे लिए तो काला अक्षर भैंस बराबर!”
मैं पड़ोस की समीना आपा की नकल करती हुई उन्हीं के लहज़े में बोली और खिलखिला कर हँस दी ।
इस बार तो वह भी मुस्कुरा दिया
“अहा! आप मुस्कुरा भी लेते हैं ।”
मेरा ये कहते ही पल भर को आई मुस्कान गायब हो गई ।
सिगरेट को पैर से मसल  , बिना कोई जवाब दिए उसने मुँह फेर लिया ।
उसका मुझे यूँ नकार देना मेरे लिए कोई नई बात नहीं थी इसलिए मुझे भी कोई खास असर न हुआ , मैं यथावत अपना काम करती रही । पीछे कुछ आवाज़ हुई तो मैं चौंकी , पलट कर देखा तो वह बरामदे में लगी कमरे की तरफ वाली खिड़की के पल्लों को, लोहे के जंगले से हाथ डाल कर पूरा खोल रहा था। एक पल के लिए मेरे चेहरे पर हैरानी दौड़ी कि इसकी क्या ज़रूरत आन पड़ी । फिर अगले पल ही समझ आ गया कि मिस्टर परफैक्ट को अपनी इमेज की चिंता हुई । घर के लोग यह न समझ ले कि घर की बेटी ,मेहमान के साथ पीछे बरामदे में जाने क्या ही कर रही है । बात तो उसने समझदारी की, की थी पर जाने क्यों मेरा मुँह बन गया ।
उसने फिर एक सिगरेट जला ली ।
मैंने हताशा से सिर हिलाया और बुदबुदाई “क्या ही पत्थर कलेजा है इसका ।”
बाल्टी में अब भी एक कमीज़ सुखानी बची थी ।
 पर तार का सिर्फ कोने वाला हिस्सा ही खाली रह गया था जो मेरे कद के हिसाब से कुछ ज़्यादा ही ऊँचा था । मैंने पंजों के बल उछल कर कई‌ बार कोशिश की पर नाकामयाब । पीछे सरसराहट हुई ,  हल्की सिगरेट की महक मेरी साँस में घुलने लगी।
आइ रियलाइज़ड़, आई वाज़‌ ब्लशिंग दैट मोमेंट
वह ठीक मेरे पीछे खड़ा था ।
कुछ मुस्कुराने लगा मेरे अंदर ‌। शायद ऐसे ही किसी लम्हें के लिए लिखा गया होगा, ‘बटरफ्लाइज़ इन स्टमक’ ।
मुझे लगा अभी वह मुझे पीछे से अपनी  बाँहों में लेकर ऊँचा उठा देंगा ताकि मैं तार पर कमीज़ आसानी से फैला सकूँ।
“हो गया हो खेल तो अंदर जाओ ” उसने बेहद ही तल्ख़ आवाज़ में कहा । इतनी तल्ख़ की मैं लगभग सहम गई ।
“जी !!”
मेरा स्वर भीग चुका था पर उसकी तल्ख़ी बरकरार रही ।
“मैंने कहा हो गया तुम्हारा बचपना तो‌ अब अंदर जाओ ।”
 ये कहते हुए उसने मेरे हाथ से अपनी कमीज़ लगभग खींच ली ।
एक हैरानी ,एक क्षोभ ,एक दर्द ,एक अपमान सब एक साथ मेरी आँखों में तैर गए ।
पर मैं क्या कहती , मैं उसे कभी समझ नहीं पाती , वह बेहद रहस्यमयी व्यवहार करता हैं, हमेशा ही।
आँखें कोमल प्रेम से भरी  , बात उतनी ही कड़वी और हाथ से कमीज़ लेने का अंदाज़ बेहद सख़्त ।
मैं रोते हुए तेज़ी से अंदर आ गई  ।
लेकिन मन बाहर ही रह गया था । जिस जगह अंदर मैं खड़ी उसकी तल्ख़ मिज़ाजी से आहत हुई आँसू बहा रही थी , वहाँ से वह मुझे साफ दिखाई दे रहा था पर उसे मैं नहीं ।
मैंने देखा ,उसका चेहरा उतर चुका है , बेहद उदासी से भरा , हताशा और निराशा में भीगा चेहरा।
एक चौंक मेरे चेहरे पर फैल गई ।
उसने वह कमीज़ अभी तक तार पर नहीं फैलाई थी । बल्कि वह उसे अपने चेहरे के पास ले गया। जैसे कुछ सूंघने की कोशिश कर रहा हो । पर वह ऐसा क्यों कर रहा था , अभी-अभी धुले कपड़ों से तो सिर्फ़ साबून की ही महक आएगी , उसमें सूंघना कैसा !
मैं असमंजस में थी कि ऐसा क्यों कर रहा है ।
वह जब कमीज़ सूखा कर अंदर आया , तो‌ मुझे वहीं खिड़की के पास खड़ा देख ठिठक गया । मेरा चेहरा आँसूओं से पूरी तरह भीगा था ।
उसके कदम मेरी तरफ़ बढ़े । हाथ उठा , मेरे चेहरे तक आया और रूक गया । वह एक बार फ़िर मुझे नकार कर सीधा कमरे से बाहर चला गया ।
उस शाम मैं जब उसके कमरे में चाय देने गई तो वह अपनी डायरी में कुछ लिख रहा था । उर्दू में । इस बात से बेखबर की मैं ठीक उसकी कुर्सी के पीछे ही खड़ी हूँ, वह दीन-दुनिया से बेज़ार लिखने में मसरूफ था ।
पर वह एक ही चीज़ बार-बार लिख रहा था।
मुझसे न रहा गया तो पूछ ही बैठी
“ये क्या लिख रहे हो बार-बार ?”
वह चौंक कर पलटा
“तुम कब आई?”
“अभी कुछ देर पहले । पर तुम लिख क्या रहे हो ?”
“तुम्हें उर्दू बिल्कुल भी नहीं आती न ?”
मैंने न में सिर हिला दिया
उसके चेहरे पर जैसे कोई सुकून उभर आया । मुझे चिढ़ हुई । लगा मुझे कमतर समझा जा रहा है ।
मैं बिना कुछ कहे चाय का कप रख कर जाने लगी । उसने आवाज़ दी ।
“सुनो !”
“कहो।”
“यह, दो नाम हैं।” उसने डायरी की तरफ़ इशारा करते हुए कहा।
“किसके ?”
“दो प्रेमी , जो कभी एक दुसरे के नहीं हो सकते ।”
“कौन हैं ये ?”
वह मुस्कुराया । मुड़ा । डायरी से पन्ना निकाला और मुझे देते हुए कहा ।
“रख लो । कभी उर्दू सीख जाओ तो खुद पढ़ लेना । पर संभाल कर रखना । कोई और न देखे ।”
“क्यों ? तुम तो ऐसे कह रहे हो जैसे हमारे नाम हो ।” मैंने हँसते हुए कहा
उसने ‘न’ में सिर हिला दिया।
पर वह ‘न’ करना शायद ऐसा ही था जैसे किसी के लिए जान देते हुए यह कहना मैं तुमसे प्यार नहीं करता ।
गहरी उदासी का कोहरा मुझे लील जाने लगा। मैं वहाँ से चली आई ।
फिर…
फिर एक दिन  वह पन्ना चाचा के हाथ में था । जाने कैसे ।
और ठीक उसी एक दिन मैं दूर कहीं उसकी आगोश में थी , उसके बेहद करीब । जाने कैसे।
एक जोड़ी होंठों की सरसराहट ने बनाया एक जोड़ी होंठों पर अपना नाम ।
एक जोड़ी आँखों मुस्कुराई और आँखों ने ही किया सवाल
“ये क्या लिखा ?”
एक जोड़ी आँखों ने ही दिया जवाब
“तो तुमने उर्दू अब तक नही सीखी !”
 फिर कोई आंधी आई , कोई शोर उठा । एक बवंडर आया और …
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शमशान‌ की लकड़ी की ज़हमत कौन करे । सो कब्रिस्तान सा गहरा गड्ढा और दो देह।
मेरा सिर फट रहा था …
मुझे याद आ ही गया  मैंने कहाँ देखे थे वो नाम।
मैंने छील दिए गए वजूद और जला दी गई आँखों के साथ दौड़ लगा दी बदहवास , समय के उस पहर की ओर, जहाँ वह इबारत कहीं छूट गई थी ।
मुझे ढूँढना ही था डायरी का वही पन्ना ।
मुझे लिखने ही थे वही दो नाम..
इस दोहरी कब्र की स्लेट पर जो उस इबारत में लिखे थे।
उफ्फफ! काश मैंने उर्दू सीख ली होती  ।
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419 comments

  1. सत्येन भंडारी

    पिछले कई दिनों से कितनी ही बार हुआ ऐसा. कुछ लिख रहा हूँ. तीस-चालीस पन्ने लिख लेने के बाद फाड देता हूँ इन्हें. संतुष्टि न मिल रही. लगता है जैसे अपनी बात ढंग से नहीं कह पा रहा मैं. इस कथा को पढ़ क्लू मिल गया मुझको…धन्यवाद डाक्टर मैम!!!

    अपनी ही कथा कहने लग पड़ा…

    सच तो यह है कि निःशब्द हूँ, सूझ नहीं रहा क्या कहूँ! पाठक मौन हो जाए, विचार निमग्न हो जाए… लेखन की विशेष बात यही है मेरे लिए. हँस-रो पड़ना क्षणिक अनुभूति है. लिखना तभी सार्थक जब सोचने पर विवश कर दे लिखा हुआ. आपके लेखन में, इस कथा में है यह सिफत!!

  2. A. Charumati Ramdas

    बहुत बढ़िया कहानी है. सुषमा जी के बारे में कुछ जानकारी….

  3. अच्छी कहानी कुछ उलझाती हुई सी
    अव्यक्त असफल प्रेम की
    अच्छा लिखती हैं Sushma Gupta

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