जानकी पुल – A Bridge of World's Literature. जानकी पुल पर प्रकाशित लेखों में प्रकट विचार लेखक के होते हैं. उनसे मॉडरेटर का सहमत होना जरूरी नहीं है. हाँ, अपने लेखों में प्रकट विचारों के लिए मॉडरेटर खुद जिम्मेदार है
पतरस बुख़ारी का नाम उर्दू के प्रमुख व्यंग्यकारों में लिया जाता है। बीसवीं शताब्दी के मध्य में उन्होंने वाचिक परम्परा की व्यंग्य परम्परा को एक बड़ी पहचान दी। हाल में ही उनकी किताब हिंदी में आई है- सिनेमा का इश्क़, जो उनके व्यंग्य लेखों का संग्रह है। मैंड्रेक प्रकाशन से प्रकाशित इस किताब का संपादन और लिप्यंतरण किया है शुएब शाहिद ने। उसी से एक व्यंग्य पढ़िए-
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आख़िरकार बाइस्किल पर सवार हुआ। पहला ही पाँव चलाया, तो ऐसा मालूम हुआ जैसे कोई मुर्दा अपनी हड्डियाँ चट्ख़ा-चट्ख़ा कर अपनी मर्ज़ी के ख़िलाफ़ ज़िंदा हो रहा है। घर से निकलते ही कुछ थोड़ी सी उतराई थी उस पर बाइस्किल ख़ुद-बख़ुद चलने लगी लेकिन इस रफ़्तार से जैसे तारकोल ज़मीन पर बहता है और साथ ही मुख़्तलिफ़ हिस्सों से तरह-तरह की आवाज़ें बरामद होनी शुरू हुईं। उन आवाज़ों के मुख़्तलिफ़ गिरोह थे। चीं, चाँ, चूँ क़िस्म की आवाज़ें ज़्यादा तर गद्दी के नीचे और पिछले पहिए से निकलती थीं। खट, खड़-खड़, खड़ड़ के क़बील की आवाज़ें मडगार्डों से आती थीं। चर-चर्रख़, चर-चर्रख़ की क़िस्म के सुर ज़ंजीर और पैंडल से निकलते थे। ज़ंजीर ढीली-ढीली थी। मैं जब कभी पैडल पर ज़ोर डालता था ज़ंजीर में एक अंगड़ाई सी पैदा होती थी जिस से वो तन जाती थी और चड़-चड़ बोलने लगती थी और फिर ढीली हो जाती थी। पिछला पहिया घूमने के अलावा झूमता भी था यानी एक तो आगे को चलता था और इसके अलावा दाहिने से बाएँ और बाएँ से दाहिने को भी हरकत करता था। चुनांचे सड़क पर जो निशान पड़ जाता था, उसको देख कर ऐसा मालूम होता था जैसे कोई मख़्मूर साँप लहरा कर निकल गया है। मडगार्ड थे तो सही लेकिन पहियों के ऐन ऊपर न थे। इनका फ़ायदा सिर्फ़ ये मालूम होता था कि इन्सान शिमाल की सिम्त सैर करने को निकले और आफ़ताब मग़्रिब में ग़ुरूब हो रहा हो तो मडगार्डों की बदौलत टायर धूप से बचे रहेंगे। अगले पहिए के टायर में एक बड़ा सा पैवंद लगा था जिसकी वजह से पहिया हर चक्कर में एक दफ़ा लम्हा भर को ज़ोर से ऊपर उठ जाता था और मेरा सर पीछे को यूँ झटके खा रहा था जैसे कोई मुतावातिर ठोड़ी के नीचे मुक्के मारे जा रहा हो। पिछले और अगले पहिए को मिला कर चूँ-चूँ-फट, चूँ-चूँ-फट… की सदा निकल रही थी। जब उतार पर बाइस्किल ज़रा तेज़ हुई तो फ़िज़ा में एक भूँचाल सा आ गया और बाइस्किल के कई और पुर्जे़ जो अब तक सो रहे थे, बेदार होकर गोया हुए। इधर-उधर के लोग चौंके, माओं ने अपने बच्चों को सीने से लगा लिया, खड़ड़-खड़ड़ के बीच में पहियों की आवाज़ जुदा सुनाई दे रही थी लेकिन चूँकि बाइस्किल अब पहले से तेज़ थी इसलिए चूँ-चूँ-फट, चूँ-चूँ-फट की आवाज़ ने अब चचों-फट, चचों-फट की सूरत इख़्तियार कर ली थी। तमाम बाइस्किल किसी अदक़ अफ़्रीक़ी ज़बान की गर्दानें दोहरा रही थी।
इस क़दर तेज़ रफ़्तारी बाइस्किल की तब-ए-नाज़ुक पर गिराँ गुज़री। चुनांचे इसमें यकलख़्त दो तब्दीलियाँ वाक़ेअ हो गईं। एक तो हैंडल एक तरफ़ को मुड़ गया जिसका नतीजा ये हुआ कि मैं जा तो सामने को रहा था लेकिन मेरा तमाम जिस्म दाएँ तरफ़ को मुड़ा हुआ था। इसके अलावा बाइस्किल की गद्दी दफ़अतन छः इंच के क़रीब नीचे बैठ गई। चुनांचे जब पैंडल चलाने के लिए मैं टाँगें ऊपर नीचे कर रहा था तो मेरे घुटने मेरी ठोड़ी तक पहुँच जाते थे। कमर दोहरी होकर बाहर को निकली हुई थी और साथ ही अगले पहिए की अठखेलियों की वजह से सर बराबर झटके खा रहा था।
गद्दी का नीचा हो जाना अज़हद तकलीफ़देय साबित हुआ। इसलिए मैंने मुनासिब यही समझा कि इसको ठीक कर लूँ। चुनांचे मैंने बाइस्किल को ठहरा लिया और नीचे उतरा। बाइस्किल के ठहर जाने से यकलख़्त जैसे दुनिया में एक ख़ामोशी सी छा गई। ऐसा मालूम हुआ जैसे मैं किसी रेल के स्टेशन से निकल कर बाहर आ गया हूँ। जेब से मैंने औज़ार निकाला। गद्दी को ऊँचा किया। कुछ हैंडल को ठीक किया और दोबारा सवार हो गया।
दस क़दम भी चलने न पाया था कि अबके हैंडल यकलख़्त नीचा हो गया। इतना कि गद्दी अब हैंडल से कोई फ़ुट भर ऊँची थी। मेरा तमाम जिस्म आगे को झुका हुआ था। तमाम बोझ दोनों हाथों पर था जो हैंडल पर रखे थे और बराबर झटके खा रहे थे। आप मेरी हालत को तसव्वुर करें तो आपको मालूम होगा कि मैं दूर से ऐसा मालूम हो रहा था जैसे कोई औरत आटा गूँध रही हो। मुझे इस मुशाबहत का अहसास बहुत तेज़ था, जिसकी वजह से मेरे माथे पर पसीना आ गया। मैं दाएँ-बाएँ लोगों को कनखियों से देखता जाता था। यूँ तो हर शख़्स मील भर पहले ही से मुड़-मुड़ कर देखने लगता था लेकिन इनमें कोई भी ऐसा न था जिसके लिए मेरी मुसीबत ज़ियाफ़त-ए-तबा का बाइस न हो।
हैंडल तो नीचा हो ही गया था। थोड़ी देर के बाद गद्दी भी फिर नीची हो गई और मैं हमातन ज़मीन के क़रीब पहुँच गया। एक लड़के ने कहा, “देखो ये आदमी क्या कर रहा है?” गोया उस बदतमीज़ के नज़दीक मैं कोई करतब दिखा रहा था। मैंने उतर कर फिर हैंडल और गद्दी को ऊँचा किया। लेकिन थोड़ी देर के बाद इनमें से एक न एक फिर नीचा हो जाता। वो लम्हे जिनके दौरान में मेरा हाथ और मेरा जिस्म दोनों ही बुलन्दी पर वाक़ेअ हों, बहुत ही कम थे और उनमें भी मैं यही सोचता रहता था कि अबकि गद्दी पहले बैठेगी या हैंडल? चुनांचे निडर होकर न बैठता बल्कि जिस्म को गद्दी से क़द्रे ऊपर ही रखता लेकिन इससे हैंडल पर इतना बोझ पड़ जाता कि वो नीचा हो जाता।
जब दो मील गुज़र गये और बाइस्किल की उठक-बैठक ने एक मुक़र्ररा बाक़ायदगी इख़्तियार कर ली, तो फ़ैसला किया कि किसी मिस्त्री से पेंच क़सवा लेने चाहिएँ। चुनांचे बाइस्किल को एक दुकान पर ले गया।
बाइस्किल की खड़-खड़ से दुकान में जितने लोग काम कर रहे थे सबके सब सर उठा कर मेरी तरफ़ देखने लगे लेकिन मैंने जी कड़ा कर के कहा:
“ज़रा इसकी मरम्मत कर दीजीए।”
एक मिस्त्री आगे बढ़ा। लोहे की एक सलाख़ उसके हाथ में थी। जिससे उसने मुख़्तलिफ़ हिस्सों को बड़ी बेदर्दी के साथ ठोक-बजा कर देखा। मालूम होता था उसने बड़ी तेज़ी के साथ सब हालात का अंदाज़ा लगा लिया है लेकिन फिर भी मुझसे पूछने लगा, “किस-किस पुर्जे़ की मरम्मत कराइएगा?”
मैंने कहा, “बड़े गुस्ताख़ हो तुम। देखते नहीं कि सिर्फ़ हैंडल और गद्दी को ज़रा ऊँचा करवा के क़सवाना है, बस और क्या? इनको मेहरबानी करके फ़ौरन ठीक कर दो और बताओ कितने पैसे हुए?”
मिस्त्री कहने लगा, “मडगार्ड भी ठीक न कर दूँ?”
मैंने कहा, “हाँ, वो भी ठीक कर दो।”
कहने लगा, “अगर आप बाक़ी चीज़ें भी ठीक करा लें तो अच्छा हो।”
मैंने कहा, “अच्छा कर दो।”
बोला, “यूँ थोड़ी हो सकता है। दस पंद्रह दिन का काम है। आप इसे हमारे पास छोड़ जाइए।”
“और पैसे कितने लोगे?”
कहने लगा, “बस चालीस रुपये लगेंगे।”
हमने कहा, “बस जी! जो काम तुम से कहा है कर दो और बाक़ी हमारे मामलात में दख़ल मत दो।”
थोड़ी देर में हैंडल और गद्दी फिर ऊँची कर के कस दी गई। मैं चलने लगा तो मिस्त्री ने कहा, “मैंने कस तो दिया है लेकिन पेच सब घिसे हुए हैं। अभी थोड़ी देर में फिर ढीले हो जाएँगे।”
मैंने कहा, “हैं बदतमीज़ कहीं का। तो दो आने पैसे मुफ़्त में ले लिये।”
बोला, “जनाब आपको बाइस्किल भी तो मुफ़्त में मिली होगी। ये आपके दोस्त मिर्ज़ा साहब की है ना? लल्लू! ये वही बाइस्किल है जो पिछले साल मिर्ज़ा साहब यहाँ बेचने को लाए थे। पहचानी तुमने? भई सदियाँ ही गुज़र गईं लेकिन इस बाइस्किल की ख़ता माफ़ होने में नहीं आती।”
मैंने कहा, “वाह! मिर्ज़ा साहब के लड़के इस पर कॉलेज आया-जाया करते थे और उनको अभी कॉलेज छोड़े दो साल भी नहीं हुए।”
मिस्त्री ने कहा, “हाँ वो तो ठीक है लेकिन मिर्ज़ा साहब ख़ुद जब कॉलेज में पढ़ते थे तो उनके पास भी तो यही बाइस्किल थी।”
मेरी तबीयत ये सुन कर कुछ मुर्दा सी हो गई। मैं बाइस्किल को साथ लिए आहिस्ता-आहिस्ता पैदल चल पड़ा। लेकिन पैदल चलना भी मुश्किल था। इस बाइस्किल के चलाने में ऐसे-ऐसे पुठों पर ज़ोर पड़ता था जो आम बाइस्किलों के चलाने में इस्तेमाल नहीं होते। इसलिए टाँगों और कंधों और कमर और बाज़ुओं में जा-बजा दर्द हो रहा था। मिर्ज़ा का ख़याल रह रह कर आता था, लेकिन मैं हर बार कोशिश करके उसे दिल से हटा देता था, वर्ना मैं पागल हो जाता और जुनून की हालत में पहली हरकत मुझसे ये सरज़द होती कि मिर्ज़ा के मकान के सामने बाज़ार में एक जलसा मुनअक़िद करता। जिसमें मिर्ज़ा की मक्कारी, बेईमानी और दग़ाबाज़ी पर एक तवील तक़रीर करता। कुल बनी नौइन्सान और आईन्दा आने वाली नस्लों को मिर्ज़ा की नापाक फ़ितरत से आगाह कर देता और उसके बाद एक चिता जला कर उसमें ज़िन्दा जल कर मर जाता।
मैंने बेहतर यही समझा कि जिस तरह हो सके अब इस बाइस्किल को औने-पौने दामों में बेचकर जो वसूल हो उसी पर सब्र शुक्र करूँ। बला से दस पंद्रह रुपये का ख़सारा सही। चालीस के चालीस रुपये तो ज़ाया न होंगे। रास्ते में बाइस्किलों की एक और दुकान आयी। वहाँ ठहर गया।
दुकानदार बढ़ कर मेरे पास आया लेकिन मेरी ज़बान को जैसे क़ुफ़्ल लग गया था। उम्र भर किसी चीज़ के बेचने की नौबत न आई थी। मुझे ये भी मालूम नहीं कि ऐसे मौक़े पर क्या कहते हैं। आख़िर बड़े सोच बिचार और बड़े तहम्मुल के बाद मुँह से सिर्फ़ इतना निकला कि “ये बाइस्किल है।”
दुकानदार ने कहा, “फिर?”
मैंने कहा, “लोगे?”
कहने लगा, “क्या मतलब? “
मैंने कहा, “बेचते हैं हम।”
दुकानदार ने मुझे ऐसी नज़र से देखा कि मुझे ये महसूस हुआ कि मुझ पर चोरी का शुबा कर रहा है। फिर बाइस्किल को देखा। फिर मुझे देखा। फिर बाइस्किल को देखा। ऐसा मालूम होता था कि फ़ैसला नहीं कर सकता कि आदमी कौन सा है और बाइस्किल कौन सी है? आख़िरकार बोला, “क्या करेंगे आप इसको बेच कर?”
ऐसे सवालों का ख़ुदा जाने क्या जवाब होता है? मैंने कहा, “क्या तुम ये पूछना चाहते हो कि जो रुपये मुझे वसूल होंगे इनका मसरफ़ क्या होगा?”
कहने लगा, “वो तो ठीक है मगर कोई इसको लेकर करेगा क्या? “
मैंने कहा, “इस पर चढ़ेगा और क्या करेगा ?”
कहने लगा, “अच्छा चढ़ गया, फिर?”
मैंने कहा, “फिर क्या? फिर चलाएगा और क्या?”
दुकानदार बोला, “अच्छा?…हूँ…। ख़ुदाबख़्श ज़रा यहाँ आना। ये बाइस्किल बिकने आई है।”
जिन हज़रत का इस्म-ए-गिरामी ख़ुदाबख़्श था उन्होंने बाइस्किल को दूर ही से यूँ देखा जैसे बू सूँघ रहे हों।
उसके बाद दोनों ने आपस में मश्विरा किया। आख़िर में वह जिनका नाम ख़ुदाबख़्श नहीं था, मेरे पास आए और कहने लगे, “तो आप सचमुच इसे बेच रहे हैं?”
मैंने कहा “तो और क्या महज़ आपसे हमकलाम होने का फ़ख़्र हासिल करने के लिए मैं घर से ये बहाना गढ़ कर लाया था?”
कहने लगा, “तो क्या लेंगे आप?”
मैंने कहा, “तुम ही बताओ।”
कहने लगा, “सचमुच बताऊँ?”
मैंने कहा, “हाँ-हाँ!”
कहने लगा, “सचसच बताऊँ?”
मैंने कहा, “अब बताओगे भी या यूँ ही तरसाते रहोगे?”
कहने लगा, “तीन रुपये दूँगा इसके।”
मेरा ख़ून खौल उठा और मेरे हाथ पाँव और होंट ग़ुस्से के मारे काँपने लगे। मैंने कहा:
“ओ सनअत-ओ-हिर्फ़त से पेट पालने वाले निचले तबक़े के इन्सान! मुझे अपनी तौहीन की परवाह नहीं लेकिन तूने अपनी बेहूदा गुफ़्तारी से इस बेज़बान चीज़ को जो सदमा पहुँचाया है इसके लिए मैं तुझे क़यामत तक माफ़ नहीं कर सकता।” ये कह कर मैं बाइस्किल पर सवार हो गया और अंधाधुंध पाँव चलाने लगा।
======================
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Содержание статьи
Проверка информации о компании «Эсперио»
Не дайте мошенникам присвоить свои деньги!
Адрес и стаж как признаки мошенничества Esperio
Чарджбэк для возврата средств на карту
Отзывы о «Эсперио»
Схема развода «Эсперио»
Заключение
На первый взгляд у компании приличный мультиязычный сайт, а также достаточное количество юридической и прочей информации. Однако стоит начать всерьёз проверять легенду «Эсперио» — как она начинает рассыпаться на глазах.
«Вся Правда» приглашает разобрать компанию по косточкам, заодно потренировавшись выводить подобных лжеброкеров на чистую воду.
Проверка информации о компании «Эсперио»
Кладезем базовых юридических данных являются документы и футер сайта, заполненный очень мелким, слепым шрифтом. Поэтому удобнее обращаться к разделу «Правовая информация», который сослали на третий уровень интернет-ресурса, в категорию «О компании».
Первое, что бросается в глаза в этой самой правовой информации, это отсутствие обоих ключевых для каждого брокера документов:
скан-копии свидетельства о регистрации,
бланка лицензии на брокерскую деятельность.
Это настораживающий фактор, который сразу понижает степень доверия к Esperio. А ключевые сведения будем выяснять самостоятельно, перепроверяя отрывочную информацию из футера официального сайта и из шапки клиентского соглашения.
Как чёрный брокер Esperio маскируется под нормального
Итак, заявлено, что сайтом управляет компания OFG Cap. Ltd с регистрацией на Сент-Винсент и Гренадинах. Это островное офшорное государство давно является прибежищем сомнительных компаний, которые покупают местную регистрацию по вполне доступной цене. Однако для этого нужно предпринять хотя бы минимальный набор действий и подать скромный пакет документов.
Не дайте мошенникам присвоить свои деньги!
Узнайте, как обезопасить свои финансы
Проверить, было ли это сделано на самом деле, легко. Достаточно на сервисе info-clipper или подобном агрегаторе юридических лиц разных стран мира выбрать интересующее государство и ввести название компании. Если результат не найден, значит, такого юрлица в стране не зарегистрировано. Показываем на скриншоте, что брокер лжёт о своей якобы материнской компании (хотя формулировка про управление сайтом не тянет даже на подобный статус). Компания Esperio на островах также не зарегистрирована.
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