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कश्मीर, किताबें, और… पता नहीं क्या कुछ: प्रदीपिका सारस्वत

कश्मीर की कुछ यादों के साथ प्रदीपिका सारस्वत लौटी हैं। उनके गद्य के हम सब क़ायल रहे हैं। यह भी पढ़ने लायक़ है-

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कश्मीर, किताबें, और… पता नहीं क्या कुछ

अल्मोड़ा की पहाड़ियों में रविवार की धूप के बीच गुलमर्ग और साहित्य उत्सव को याद करना किसी दूसरे समय, दूसरे संसार को याद करने जैसा लगता है. कश्मीर और साहित्य यूँ भी दूसरे ही संसार हैं, जहाँ जाने के बाद ग़ालिब के शब्द उधार लिए जा सकते हैं कि—कुछ हमारी ख़बर नहीं आती.

पिछले महीने में गोवा में थी और सोच रही थी कि दो साल हुए श्रीनगर गए. मैं श्रीनगर जाना चाहती थी लेकिन नहीं भी जाना चाहती थी. वहाँ जाना कभी आसान नहीं रहा. एक असाध्य भावुक व्यक्ति के लिए प्रिय के पास जाना कभी आसान नहीं होता. प्रिय भी ऐसा जो सब कुछ माँगता हो. तुम्हारा पूरा समर्पण. पर समर्पण करना आता कब है?

जब लगभग मन बना लिया कि वापस दिल्ली लौटकर श्रीनगर जाना है, तब अचानक घाटी से ऐसी खबरें आने लगीं कि मन निराशा से भर गया. स्कूल की प्राचार्य और शिक्षक को गोली मार दी गई क्योंकि वे एक खास समुदाय से नहीं थे. फिर ऐसी खबरें बार-बार आने लगी. पिछले दिनों से मैं एक खास तरह की लाइब्रेरी खोलने पर विचार कर रही थी. कश्मीर से एक मित्र का फोन आया तो मैंने कहा यह लाइब्रेरी वहीं शुरु करते हैं. बंदूकों के साये से घिरी घाटी को किताबों की सबसे ज़्यादा ज़रूरत है. जवाब मिला नहीं—तुम अपनी जान की सोचो. अपनी जान का क्या सोचूँ?

यही सोचा कि बस. नहीं जाना मुझे वापस. पर दो दिन बाद ही संदेश मिला कि घाटी में साहित्य उत्सव हो रहा है. जिन दिनों घाटी में रहने वाले हिंदू और प्रवासी मज़दूर एक बार फिर पलायन पर हैं, उन दिनों घाटी में साहित्य उत्सव? मैं आश्चर्यचकित थी. और उस से भी ज़्यादा भावुक. जिसने भी यह सोचा, उसे सलाम करने को जी चाहा. साहस की बात थी. मेरे लिए तो यह बुलावा किसी सपने के सच होने जैसा था. बुरे समय में सुंदर सपने का सच होना एक पागलपन भरी उम्मीद ले आता है.

मैं उत्सव से दो दिन पहले ही घाटी में थी. दो साल बाद. एयरपोर्ट से निकलते ही देखा कि सुरक्षा व्यवस्था पहले से भी ज़्यादा चाक-चौबंद थी. चप्पे-चप्पे पर सुरक्षा बल. देश के ग्रह मंत्री कश्मीर दौरे पर थे. आखिर फ़्लाइट से श्रीनगर पहुँची थी, शहर में घुसने तक अंधेरा घिरने लगा. सड़कें लगभग खाली थीं. किसी भुतहे शहर की तरह.

अगली सुबह डल गेट की तरफ गई. जान बेकर्स के पीछे की तरफ एक गली में चाय की दुकान पर नून चाय पीते हुए रेडियो पर उर्दू में खबरें सुनीं. वे शब्द तो याद नहीं पर मतलब ये था कि मिनिस्टर साहब ने डल झील में शिकारे का आनंद लिया. मैं दुकान में मौजूद लोगों को सुन रही थी. वे बता रहे थे कि किस तरह पिछले कई दिनों से शहर के किसी भी दोपहिया वाहन को पुलिस उठा ले रही है. एक दिन पहले का एक ट्वीट याद आया जहां किसी कश्मीरी पंडित ने लिखा था कि गृह मंत्री आइआइटी जम्मू कैंपस के उद्घाटन के लिए आए, लेकिन विस्थापित पंडितों के कैंप तक नहीं आए.

मन दुख से भर गया. मैं उन विस्थापित कश्मीरी बच्चों की सोचने लगी जिन्होंने डल झील और शिकारों को सिर्फ तस्वीरों में देखा था.

27 अक्टूबर की सुबह उत्सव शुरू हुआ. एक दिन पहले ही सभी लेखक-साहित्यकार जुट चुके थे. बहुत से लोगों ने आने से मना कर दिया था. सुरक्षा स्थितियों की वजह से भी और अन्य कारणों से भी. पहला पैनल उत्सव का सबसे सुंदर पैनल था. तीन तरुणियां, कश्मीर के प्रिय साहित्यकार सिद्धार्थ गिगू के साथ मंच पर थीं. अभी स्कूल में ही पढ़ रही अनुष्का ने किताब लिखी थी ‘टेक मी होम’. विस्थापन के बहुत बाद मुंबई मैं पैदा हुईं अनुष्का धर ने बताया कि उनके घर में कश्मीर को लेकर कभी बात नहीं होती थी. स्कूल के एक प्रॉजेक्ट के लिए उसने कश्मीर और विस्थापन पर काम करना शुरू किया और वह प्रॉजेक्ट अब किताब की शक्ल में हमारे सामने था. महापारा खान कॉलेज में हैं और उन्होंने फैंटसी के इर्द-गिर्द अपनी कहानी बुनी. मिस्ट्री ऑफ़ द ब्लू रोज़ेज. इतनी कम उम्र में शब्दों और भावनाओं पर महापारा की पकड़ हैरान करती थी. और उनके साथ थीं मनप्रीत कौर, जिन्होंने लिखी थी ‘ब्लूज़ एंड ब्लिस’. प्रेम, पीड़ा, और उस पीड़ा से उबरने के बारे में लिखी गई कविताएँ दिल तोड़ने वाली थीं.

बाकी बातचीत के बीच सिद्धार्थ ने तीनों युवतियों से अपनी-अपनी किताब से कुछ न कुछ पढ़ने को कहा. मनप्रीत की बारी आने पर उन्होंने पूछा कि किस हिस्से से पढ़ूँ, प्रेम से, पीड़ा से या उबरने से. सिद्धार्थ ने कहा तीनों से ही पढ़िए. मॉडरेटर और वक्ताओं के बीच इतना कोमल-सहज संवाद मुझे याद नहीं आखिरी बार मैंने कब देखा था. वरना समय की कमी और अन्य तमाम सीमाओं के चलते, मच से यह कोमलता कहीं खो ही जाती है.

अगले दिन गुलमर्ग से वापस श्रीनगर जाना था. मेरे पास दो दिन और थे घाटी में बिताने के लिए. मैं दक्षिण कश्मीर जाना चाहती थी, पर जानती थी कि इतने कम समय में संभव न होगा. बटमालू की तरफ से शहर में घुसते हुए मुझे रुलाई आने लगी. वे सब सड़कें, गलियाँ, रास्ते, दुकानें जहाँ एक समय मैं जाया करती थी, वह सब जाना-पहचाना होकर भी अपना नहीं था. मैं महज़ एक सैलानी थी, एक विज़िटर. अब मैं समझ पा रही थी कि सिद्धार्थ कश्मीर जाने की बात पर ना क्यों कह देते हैं.

अगली सुबह डाउनटाउन जाना भी हुआ. वही सारे पुराने इलाके, आलीकदल, सफ़ाकदल, ज़ैनाकदल. वही पुरानी ढब के मकान जो आधे खाली पड़े थे. लगा जैसे किसी पुरानी किताब के भीतर हूँ. वे सारी किताबें जो कश्मीर पर मैंने पढ़ी थीं, अब किसी सपने की तरह मेरे सामने खुल गई थीं. ऐसा नहीं था कि यहां मैं पहली बार आई थी. पर दो साल बाद अबकी आना न जाने कितने मायनों में अलग था.

बहुत कुछ महसूस कर रही थी मैं. यह भी कि शादी के बाद किसी ब्याहता को मायके लौटने पर कैसा-कैसा लगता होगा. पहली बार लौटना कैसा होता होगा, कुछ और साल बाद लौटना कैसा होता होगा. क्या सोचती होगी वो जब हर बार उस जगह पर अपने होने के निशान और कम मिलते होंगे, जहाँ वो पैदा हुई थी. इस बार की कश्मीर यात्रा बस एक ही शब्द के इर्द-गिर्द महसूस होती रही. विस्थापन.

लौटने से एक शाम पहले की एक घटना का ज़िक्र किए बिना यात्रा की बात अधूरी रहेगी. पिछले दिनों एक कश्मीरी मित्र का जन्मदिन था. ये किताबें बहुत पढ़ते हैं. मैं कुछ किताबें इनके लिए ख़रीदना चाहती थी, पर समय नहीं मिला. उन्होंने पिछले नोबेल विजेता अब्दुलराज़ाक गुरनाह की किताबें लाने को कहा भी था. पर किसी भी एयरपोर्ट पर मौजूद किताबों की दुकान में मुझे ये किताबें नहीं मिली. जाने से एक शाम पहले हमें कॉफ़ी पर मिलना था. कुल चार लोग. महाटा पर. मुझे बुरा लग रहा था कि मैं कोई तोहफ़ा न दे सकी. शाम के सात और आठ के बीच का समय था. गुलशन अब भी खुला हो सकता था. रेज़िडेंसी रोज़ पर गुलशन और महाटा के बीच ज़्यादा दूरी नहीं है. अंधेरा हो चुका था. मैंने एक फ़ोन कॉल लेने का बहाना बनाया और बाहर निकल आई. सचमुच दौड़ते हुए मैं गुलशन बुक्स पहुँची. बड़ी मुश्किल से दो किताबें चुनीं. एक तो वे लेखक वहां थे नहीं जिन्हें में ख़रीदना चाहती थी. दूसरे जिन्हें तोहफ़ा देना था उन्होंने इतनी किताबें पढ़ी हुई थीं कि उनके लिए चुनना अलग मुसीबत. कुछ तो वक्त लगा ही. पर रेज़िडेंसी रोड पर ज़रा-ज़रा दूरी पर खड़े बंदूक थामे सिपाहियों के सामने से हाथ में किताबें लेकर दौड़ना एक अलग ही अनुभव था. ‘किसी फ़िल्म की तरह,’ बाद में उन मित्रों ने कहा. हालाँकि, मेरे देर तक ग़ायब हो जाने की वजह से अंदर मेरे बारे में गॉसिप की जा रही थी कि ये लड़की बिलकुल बेख़बर, निहायत लापरवाह है.

इस तरह कश्मीर से प्रेम का जो सफ़र किताबों के ज़रिए स्कूली दिनों में शुरू हुआ था, इस बार साहित्य उत्सव तक ले गया. आगे कौन जाने कहां जाना हो.

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